Being a student mum: How I handle the reactions on my student motherhood

Oki. I had this great idea of sharing my experience of how being a student mother and how I handle it. I would love to hear your stories to, so feel free to share it! First out, I was thinking of talking about how to handle the reactions you get from people around you, and as it such a big thing. I am sure more posts will come up, in time.

Being a mum mean your baby are with you a lot of the time. Like when you tidy up at home. 

The two reactions I get, telling people I am both a student and a mother to a small child is either the pep talk: “Oh, it is so strong of you doing this. You should be so proud over yourself!” or the a bit more not understanding reaction: “Why do you study? Do you not want to be home with your son? And where is he during the time your in school?”. The first reaction is so good to hear, makes me feel like I can combine studies and motherhood and that in the end everything will turn out fine. This reaction you should embrace and nurture, because it is rare you will hear it. I got a classmate Linda, who is always kind to me and tell me how great I am studying and taking care of Baby O on the same time. If you got a pep talk mate around you, embrace that person too! That is one true friend talking.

The second reaction is not the funniest thing to hear. But my theory it is first and foremost that people do not understand why you choose to continue your studies. My big tip is to tell them. To make it a bit more understandable, lets focus on this reaction taking my own life as an example, and as it is three questions in one, let’s focus on one of them in time, starting with why I study. It’s quite a few: I am studying is because I want to! I started to study years before my son was born, and I only have 1 term and a bit and then I am done. I can see the finish line ahead of me. I want to be done.  But it is important to note also that my son was born in the beginning of the summer, he was 2 months old when I came back to my school (with this I do not mean you can’t take your new born with you to school, sure it would work, as long you got a good communication with your teachers). My second reason for continueing my studies is because otherwise I would have to move as I live in a student flat. I do not have the economy to move, neither the opportunity. Thirdly, it is managable. Not easy, but I finish my courses. I can handle being a good mother and a good student, even if demands a lot of puzzling.

How my studies look like most of the time: I work by the computer and have my boy in the lap. I can tell you I am now a master of typing with one hand!

Second question: Do you not want to be home with your son? Yes I do! And I am, most of the time. I do not know how it is on other courses, but the one’s I read have a lot of self studies, meaning I can study from home. Those few lessons in the week which I need to go on, Adam takes our son. I pump out breast milk each morning, so Baby O got something to eat while I am gone. It is also easier now, as he is slowly starting to eat solid foods.

Kiss my son!

The third question: And where is he during the time you’re in school? I have got this question a lot, and I do not understand it. My son has two parents, not one. Or is a dad not capable of taking care of his son when the mother is gone? Once again, it demands puzzling between me and Adam, sometimes I need to cancel some things of mine because Adam needs to do something else at the same time, but we both get an functioning life. My tips here is to look over each week and think of which things you need to go to, and which can be cancelled. Which things is it okey you take your son with you? If you have to cancel something remember that people understand, if you tell them!

I feel I have to end this post soon as I can say so much more about this, but I am not sure how much more you will handle to read! But a last thing I want to say is that it is worth it. I have never been happier in my life, getting my son. I do not regret him, and I do not regret my decision of continueing study. And coming home to the sweetest boy smile ever, makes my mother heart melt!

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