Picture belongs to Keely Varada. Click photo to follow the link.
Adam is gone. Gone away to England. His grandmother died and the jewish tradition means they got to bury her fast. She is gone. And Adam is mourning. He is so far away from me, but even when he was still here in Sweden, he felt distant, being gone, hiding in the depths that exists in his head. He are the love of my life, and I want to help him feel better. I have cleaned at home, bought him a red rose bush, hugged him, kissed him, waved him good bye, and sent small texts to him, saying how much I love him and how much I miss him.
But it is not enough. Not anything I say, or do will make him feel better. Get over this pain. He won’t. Losing someone is not something you get over. You just learn how to live with it. He has to live with this pain, and I do not want him too. I want to turn back the time, and then stop it, so that he never will feel it. Ever. But that moment is also gone. I can’t erase his grandmother’s death.
The past is gone, he can only look ahead. On the future. A future without his grandmother, only a red rose bush and a baby on the way. I water his rose bush for him, until he comes home. Keeping it alive. That is all I can do for him. The time of no pain, are gone.